Wow, it’s almost fireworks time! Still, there’s time for a bit of reflection on what it means to be a disciple of Christ, right? Muse with me on Chapter 4 of Sherry Weddell’s “Forming Intentional Disciples“:
Granted, all the results of interior spiritual engagement don’t show outwardly, but surely there are some results when the life of Christ dwells in us richly! I mean, we don’t want to pry, but have you stopped beating your wife yet, and things like that?
Sherry (and I think most of us reading and discussing her book) just wants us to consider the idea that we can, to some extent, be known by our ‘works’, if not perfectly – our behaviors are clues to our spiritual growth, if not irrefutable signs. Can someone wake us all up to LOOK at the reality that there’s a disconnect between what we say we believe, and what we are doing, or is any discussion of our outwardly-manifest faith taboo?
Honestly, I think most of the visible seems so ridiculously obvious that it’s embarrassing to talk about and gets swept under the “don’t point at the obviously handicapped” rug. When I imagine myself saying, if I were a parish priest, “Hey ya’ll, I wanted to let you know that followers of Christ should be staying away from porn even when it’s on prime time TV, and, oh, I thought I’d remind you that it’s still ‘adultery’ even if you’re just thinking about it, and, by the way, did you guys ever think about that whole charitable and sacrificial giving thing Christ talked about, and golly, d’ya think there might be a connection between spending zero time teaching your kids the faith and then their ending up being obnoxious and disobedient and looking like prostitutes and gang-bangers?” I hear a lot of snarky in my mental voice – the sarcasm that comes from the feeling no one is listening to the obvious.
Back in evangelical land, we thought about ‘cheap grace’ – the presumption that grace was an easy bandaid to cover self-inflicted wounds. Those who really get the cost paid by Christ to obtain that grace for us find it pretty hard to tolerate the ones who seem determined to coast into heaven on the strength of it without ever even trying to stop hurting Him. And sometimes we get pharasaical – resenting the younger brothers who are taking advantage of a free party while we jolly well have worked hard to hang out with Dad.
I think priests should lovingly get to know their parishioners and challenge them all – again, lovingly – to grow up. I think we fellow parishioners have to butt out and let the padres take care of parenting the flock. We can be good examples, we can also lovingly offer friendship, we can walk in the joy of a faith that is real, but it’s not our place to call anyone else to account. I know a lot of priests would rather be the pal than the papa, but only they can well-exercise that beautiful role of authority, so I think they must step up to the plate.
It would mean more time spent getting-to-know-you, and that truly – within the context of your family and daily life, not just in Confession, or in the handshake line, or at a parish potluck. I doubt if priests feel they have time for this much deep personalization of their interaction – it’s so motherly, so slow and tedious. But if they don’t then who will let the flock know they’re headed over a cliff??
Our discussion this week: How to explain ‘cooperation with grace’. My little contribution is that someone parental must keep hovering over all those who are spiritual infants and toddlers and adolescents, sort of lovingly goading them on, encouraging them to keep taking the next step, enthusiastically doing the sideline cheer that says, “YAY, you’re doing good and so, YAY, you can do better!!!!”
Just as growing up is part natural process and part self-awareness and effort, so is ‘growing up in Christ in all things’. Let’s re-popularize the idea that growing up is a good, exciting, delightful, adventure and not the last stop on the fun ride of life!
An excellent response, with lots of food for thought, Charlotte. Thank you!
Nancy, I agree about needing to learn just to share our experiences….everyone approaches it a different way, but if it’s never a topic of conversation, who knows? I wonder if, instead of ‘helping people become disciples’, we thought more about just helping them have conversations, we might accomplish more! Practice sharing, as you’ve suggested, and you’ll grow more reflective and observant about what you’re experiencing.
I agree. People are not accustomed to talking about their faith stories, and that makes them seem less important than other things. It perpetuates misunderstandings and difficulties because there is no one to share them with and no place to get help for most people. People need to know how to grow. The first step is to make it okay to ask real questions and say real things about living a Catholic spiritual life.
Cooperating with grace to me means that I put aside my own agenda for at least a few moments each day and ask the Holy Spirit to show me his agenda for me. Then when I get that little prompting during the day, an urge to do something extra that is so unlike my carnal self, I ask for the courage of obedience. How do we help others do this? By not being self-conscious or fearful about sharing our experiences like this so that they can have an example of how to listen and cooperate with grace.