A few months ago I attempted to add Adoration to my schedule as more than a once-in-a-while event. On my way home one afternoon I stopped at the chapel to pray for the 30 extra minutes I had. I felt that was a good start. Lingering after morning mass at times to join others in the Rosary was okay, but I felt I couldn’t really concentrate one-on-one with Jesus. I had so much to take up with him.
I tiptoed into the small chapel aglow with the light of the Holy Spirit. The Rosary reciters were long gone. The only other person there left ten minutes later. I sighed a deep breath of peace. With the Lord to myself, I prayed my intercessions aloud, surrendered my burdens and sat down to listen.
Nothing happened. I longed for the spiritual highs of Adoration during dozens of retreats and days of renewal. Clarity in big decisions. Major attitude adjustments. Tears of healing. Now I got nothing. The time ticked by until I had to leave, frustrated, disappointed and overdue for my next commitment. Boy, could I have used Vinny Flynn’s book that day!
Even though I used 5 of his 21 ways to worship, they weren’t enough that day. I did know about “taking off my shoes,” or anything that prevents distractions, but I didn’t remember to do that. I knew how to “evict the tenants,” the world, the flesh and the devil, but wasn’t practiced in that.
I didn’t think of Adoration as “running to Daddy” or enlisting Mary’s help. Perhaps as a convert, I focused on my relationship with Jesus as I gazed at the monstrance.
So I did okay with keeping it personal, reading my Magnificat, journaling, shutting up and listening. I even tried to bathe in the “Sonshine” Vinny writes about that penetrates and changes us like the sun’s tanning rays. The rays were illusive as blocked by my trying too hard.
At other prayer times I often picture those people to intercede for or the hurts that need healing. I often sing and praise God. Didn’t use those. But I wasn’t snoring, as Vinny mentioned. (He gave us permission to fall asleep as long as we don’t disturb anyone.)
Vinny taught me about the Tabernacle Prayer where we ask the Lord to lock us in the tabernacle with him. He introduced the three R’s: Repent, Revoke, Replace in dealing with negative thoughts and condemning words. He gave me new insights into getting out of my self-concern, unloading my mind and seeking God’s agenda to pray for whatever and whomever he desires. These approaches, like being greedy for grace, await my exploration as I give regular Adoration another go. Vinny says this practice will transform the world one adorer at a time. Bring it on!
(© 2013 Nancy H C Ward)
Nancy Ward
Nancy Ward, convert, journalist, author, and speaker, writes from Texas about Catholicism, conversion and Christian community at NancyHCWard.com, JOYAlive.net, and other websites and magazines. Through her Sharing Your Catholic Faith Story workshops, retreats and DVD, she shares her conversion story in Catholic parishes and at conferences, equipping others to share their stories. She contributed to the award-winning The Catholic Mom's Prayer Companion, facilitates two Catholic Writers Guild critique groups, serves on the Guild’s Board, and speaks at national writers conferences.
It is a true gift to be able to find a chapel where you can go for adoration. Nice first attempt at adoration, I’d say. Was it St. Teresa of Avila who said she always needed a book with her to help her with adoration?
Sometimes I have so much to say to Him, and other times it is like just spending time with Jesus, imagining him on the sea shore, tired, and wanting our presence…staying near to him…
Thanks for the encouragement. As I said, it just needs to happen more often so that it is a part of my spirituality like daily mass.
I love to simply bathe in the Sonshine as well- gee I thought that I made up that word.
Thank you for sharing.