Editor’s note: A little humor for your stocking from Karina . . . Merry Christmas!  And may your 12 Days be blessed with kindness, encouragement, and joy!

1.  Assume that because we’re Catholic, and you know, charitable and stuff, we’ll give you a copy of our book free—and maybe one for your sister the Sister.

2.  Assume that every time any of our characters says something about religion in any of our books, that we’re speaking ex cathedra.  After all, our alien werewolf pirate would of course be representing the Magesterium.

3.  Assume everything we write is about pushing the Catholic faith, because Catholic writers can’t write stories for entertainment or they’ll be excommunicated, for sure!

4.  Judge our books by how they meet Catholic doctrine…or your version of it.  Dragons as heroes?  Good heavens!  Revelation—duh!  Magic?  Haven’t you read (pick an apologist’s) treatise on Harry Potter?

5.  Act shocked when our Catholic characters aren’t all perfect non-sinning, Mass loving, saints in the making.  Bonus if you accuse author of hurting the church if their villain happens to be Catholic, too.

6.  Ask if our novel has in Imprimatur.

7.  Wonder aloud why we didn’t sell our book to Ignatius (Pauline, etc.).  Bonus if you say “couldn’t” instead of “didn’t.”

8.  Dismiss our book before you’ve heard about it because “I’m not really into faith reading.”

9.  If our book really is Catholic-centered, wonder why we’d want to limit our audience.  If our book is more general/secular, wonder why we’d want to sell it to a Catholic audience.

10.  Assume that since we are Catholics and we do write books, that we are automatically apologists, too.  Bonus if you then monopolize us at a signing or convention to argue Catholic teachings or share stories that have nothing to do with our book.

11.  A Catholic twist on a favorite author peeve:  “I have the best conversion story!  You write it and get it published, and we can split the profits!”

12. Tell us how much more salable our book would be if we hadn’t included the Catholic elements.

 

Karina Fabian writes everything from devotionals to serious sci-fi to comedic horror. Her latest novel, Live and Let Fly, stars a Catholic dragon and his magic-slinging partner, Sister Grace, as they save the worlds from maniacal middle managers and Norse goddesses. (Coming April from MuseItUp) Karina also teaches writing and marketing online. Learn more at http://fabianspace.com

By The Writing Life5 Comments on Twelve Ways to Make a Catholic Writer Have to Go to Confession

5 Replies to “Twelve Ways to Make a Catholic Writer Have to Go to Confession”

  1. #8 and #9 are fairly funny because it doesn’t matter what you write since some people will simply not look beyond the title/genre/topic.

    Nice post!

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