Looking for ways to improve the lot of your fellow writers? Here’s an idea: Write Better Reviews!!

Reviews…you know….those rare bits of prose that we drool over. You’ve got to pack some punch into them if they’re going to be of use to your favorite authors. I’ve seen (and had) reviews of several paragraphs in length that held nary a nugget for pushing into PR channels, quoting on back covers, or highlighting on websites. While the sentiments are very much appreciated, here are some weaknesses I’ve noticed, and my humble tips for reviewers who want to avoid them.

The reviewer gives a complete summary of your book, leaving the reader with the feeling he’s already had the Cliff Notes, or Reader’s Digest version. He may feel satisfied with that. Instead of, “Here’s a succinct restatement of what it took this guy a year to write,” could you say, “Here’s a quick overview, but nothing can a) do justice to his poetic diction, b) prepare you for the wealth of detail he provides, c) dare spoil the amazing surprise, or d) take you through this subject as thoroughly as this author”? Thanks!

The reviewer knows you personally and tells everyone the book is great because you are great. Well, great. But most readers won’t be motivated to buy based on your mom’s review. Instead of, “I know you’ll love this because Mary is such a deep thinker,” could you say, “I know this author personally, and hear her authentic voice on every page,” or “I’ve heard this author speak, and this book still surprised me with new insights,” or “This book and its author are giving audiences tremendous return on investment”? Thanks!

The reviewer damns you with faint praise, hesitating to be enthusiastic lest he seem to play favorites with one pal over another. Instead of “This book certainly was well-formatted and much of the material was adequately footnoted,” could you write to the friend instead, and say “I’m just not enthusiastic about this book. Can I review your other (or, next) one instead?” Thanks! (No, really…thanks!)

The reviewer is more interested in showing off his erudition than in promoting this book. That might be fine if he’s writing for a magazine (that is more interested in showing off its erudition than in promoting books), but if you’re reviewing for a pal, stow it. Instead of writing “I know this book is good because I am so well-read and am an expert in her field of interest, and can supplement her book for you here….” could you write “I’ve read fourteen books on this subject and this is the best!” or “In all my years of teaching, this is the only contemporary book I’ve required students to read”? Thanks!

The reviewer writes in long paragraphs with dependent clauses…it’s a throwback to the ‘thesis controlled paper’ from high school…three arguments for the thesis that this book is worth reading….zzzzzz. You can’t take anything pithy out to use as a blurb. Instead of …well, I won’t bore you…read your own pile of reviews…., could you write “This book kept me up nights,” or “The best way to read this? Buy several and enjoy it with your book group. Mine loved it!” or “The only problem with this book is that the sequel is not out yet.”? Thanks!

To recap, give him blurbable, quotable, motivate-a-buyer-to-buy, pithy prose. Re-read it to see how many gold nuggets you’ve placed within the stream of the review. No, it’s not ad copy, but we both know he needs to be able to milk it for all it’s worth. Read it again to be sure the first sentence sings. Picture the thumbnail next to your first sentence when your review posts to Facebook, or Linked In. Return your readers to your friend’s book by emphasizing something there they won’t want to miss.

Here are a few nice Guild Member book review moments I noticed:

“With design this good I almost don’t care about a story.” Great title! Julie Davis, reviewing S. by J.J. Abrams and Doug Dorst

“I could almost smell the coffee as Barbara figuratively sat across from me to share her own quiet reflections on biblical bit-players reminiscent of ordinary people we meet every day.” Nice blurb! Don Mulcare, reviewing Barbara Mosbach’s Fools, Liars, Cheaters and Other Bible Heroes.

“To the author, Joseph Pearce, once again—Thank you, nicely done.” Very effective…seriously heartfelt gratitude for this book. I’m buying a copy now! Larry Peterson, reviewing Joseph Pearce’s Candles in the Dark

“A Man Cleansed by God would be an excellent choice for junior and senior high school grade levels as well as adults. ” Good target audience message for potential buyers. Dennis McGeehan, reviewing John Beahn’s A Man Cleansed by God.

If you’ve made it this far, you might want to see one of my own favorite reviews, Charlotte Ostermann, reviewing Dr. Eugene Gan’s Infinite Bandwidth. 

I’d still like to have a collection of Member reviews that have appeared elsewhere. If you’ll send me the link to one of your favorites, I’ll put it in the next Round-up (send by March 3 to charoster@yahoo.com) regardless of the date it was published (in print, or online). Thanks!

Charlotte Ostermann