The Catholic Writers Guild

As I mentioned last week, today’s blog will be about metaphors and similes. Why? Because as a writer these little tools can either enhance your writing or disrupt it. The thing about metaphors and similes is I seldom use them. I feel a little unsure of myself when I include one in my work and being insecure I often end up deleting them. Every writer has their weak point. I have a few and this is one of them. So learn along with me because used well, metaphors and similes can help your readers envision your scenes, characters, and action with musical precision.

Simile – a word that is used to describe another word in a sentence with connector words “like” or “as.” Here are some simple examples. 1) He smelled like a goat. 2) Her hair was like cotton balls.  3) She was as thin as a rake.

Metaphor – a word that makes another word the same in a sentence without connecting words. Here are some simple examples. 1) He was a mountain.  2) She was a bending branch.  3) He was a bear.

There are some mistakes that writers should not make when using these tools.

Never use a cliché – a well-known and common phrase. What do I mean? Let’s think of a few.  “Sly as a fox.” “Quiet as a mouse.”  “He was a chicken”  It makes your work seem amateurish. You are cheating your reader. You are the master of words and your reader expects the unexpected. Take the time to create fresh new metaphors and similes for your work.

Too many comparisons– We’ve all watched those classic movies where the detective uses one too many snappy phrases to describe things. “She rolled in like a cloud, wearing a dress that cried to be peeled like a potato. Her  hair was the color of the dirt she was looking to dish. But she was as washed up as the rain soaked Manhattan  street below and as slick as a puddle of oil.”  It may seem funny and catchy in an old movie but your reader will get sick and tired of it quickly.

Make it appropriate to the scene– Don’t use a metaphor or simile that doesn’t fit the scene. For instance if you are writing a tense action scene, you can’t use a comical comparison in the middle. “He rolled like a bowling ball down the stairs to his death!” The image of someone rolling like a bowling ball is cartoonish and comical. It would fit a children’s book but just doesn’t feel right here. Another example is the opposite (And I have actually read this in a book I was asked to review!)  “His head felt heavy from all the facts he had to memorize for the test.  His headache pounded. Johnny wanted the weight off his shoulders, as if he had been decapitated.” I don’t know about you but I don’t think this is a good simile for a children’s book!

Don’t mix metaphors– Don’t mix up your metaphors and similes. If you start with one image stick to that image to the end. Yogi Berra is famous for doing this. Here are a few of his quotes.

1) “Even Napoleon had his Watergate.” 2) “Baseball is ninety percent physical and the other half is mental.”

Here are a few funny ones: “I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole.” or “Take a flying hike.” You get it – it’s funny, but not in your writing.

Here are some great metaphors and similes from the masters:

1) She sat like Patience on a Monument, smiling at Grief. — Twelfth Night William Shakespeare (Simile)

2) The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas. — “The Highwayman,” Alfred Noyes (Metaphor)

It was my pleasure, while I was attending the 2014 Catholic Writer’s Guild live conference near Chicago, to take a class from talented novelist John Desjarlais, author of “Viper” and “Bleeder.” I highly recommend his work which can be purchased from Chesterton Press.  In the class, which I took because I needed it, he gave us some exercises for learning to use similes and metaphors. He suggested that we pick people, objects, and scenes and practice using metaphors or similes to describe them. It’s great fun. And it made me brave enough to try one in the novel I am currently writing. Let me know what you think of it!

“Patrick or as they called him at work – Puddin’ Pat – was given the moniker because his bulbous eyes, thick lips, and wide nostrils gave him an uncommonly flat face. The extra weight he carried caused folds in his face that shook when he talked, cavernous folds like a Chinese Shar-Pei.”