August 27, 2014

Feast of St. Monica

“The Lord is near, have no anxiety at all.”        Philippians 4:6

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Elise and Jason with their family

Three weeks ago I was stunned and grieving over news about our precious thirty-five-year old friend Elise, who was diagnosed with aggressive Stage 3 breast cancer.  The mother of five young children, she wrote in a letter to our church community that the thought of her children is “the one thing that makes me cry.”  I couldn’t stop thinking about Elise and her mother, Denny, who’s been a friend of our family for years.  I kept imagining how much Denny’s heart must hurt for her daughter, knowing all too well how a mother’s heart aches for her hurting children.

Never could I have predicted that within days, my own twenty-six-year old son-in-law Grayson, the husband of my daughter Gaby and father of their three young sons, would be diagnosed with Stage 1 testicular cancer.  He went to the doctor after finding a growth, spurred on by Gaby to make haste after Elise’s diagnosis.

 

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Gaby and Grayson with their boys

Following the doctor’s evaluation a week ago, Grayson underwent surgery to remove what had been preliminarily diagnosed as a cancerous tumor.  I flew up to South Carolina the day before his surgery to be with them and help with the kids.  The biopsy confirmed that the tumor was indeed cancerous, and we were told that Grayson would probably need invasive surgery in Indiana to remove the lymph nodes along his spine.  He will see the oncologist for the first time today to determine his treatment plan, which will likely include chemotherapy, in addition to surgery, to bring him to what is expected to be a full recovery.  Meanwhile we wait and we pray.  And pray and pray and pray.

Today is the Feast of St. Monica, the mother of the great St. Augustine, who also prayed and prayed and prayed.  Her intense suffering and years of tears were matched only by her determination to win her son’s conversion to Christianity, which she eventually did in spades.  It was St. Monica who famously said: “Nothing is far from God.”  Not wayward sons, nor cancer, nor any dreaded diagnosis.   It took me a few days, plus a wrestling match with God, to remember that truth last week.

I woke up in South Carolina the morning after Grayson’s surgery beset with grief and fear as I anticipated the yet-unknown outcome of his biopsy, as well as its ramifications for his young family.  Thankfully, their parish church has Eucharistic Adoration every Tuesday, and I was able to steal away for an hour to drag my heavy heart to the Lord.

“What in the heck is going on, Lord?” I began angrily. “You know how much trauma our family has been through!” I continued with frustration. “Enough is enough!  Didn’t you get the memo that our period of suffering is over?”  I complained to God for most of the hour while He listened patiently.  Then He politely reminded me of the meaning of faith.

“Faith is a participation in God’s own self-understanding,” I heard the words I’ve spoken in lectures many times coming right back at me.   “Trust that I am love, and that I will only work this situation for good,” God gently nudged.  In that very moment, I turned toward God in trust, asking for the faith to see the entire situation through His perspective, instead of through the lens of my own fear of suffering.   Immediately, peace came.  Not by magic, but by grace.  Not through some worldly formula for happiness, but by way of heartfelt surrender to a Father who loves me, and all of my children and grandchildren, infinitely more than I do.       

Nothing is far from God.  That’s a message bears repeating over and over again.  St. Monica, who spoke those words of profound faith and trust, pray for us.

 

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Judy Landrieu Klein is a wife, mother, grandmother, author, theologian, widow—and newlywed! She blogs at MemorareMinistries.com and can be reached at memorareministries@gmail.com.

Kathryn is a retired junior high teacher. A convert with a love for the Church she believes that its teachings have a more than viable application for today's world. She writes practical theological for the people in the pews believing that they have as much right to good catechesis as our youth and converts. Her writings appear on Catholic web sites and local Church publications. She has even been published in the diocese of Australia and most recemtly Zenit. Kathryn holds a Master's in Theology and is a certified spiritual director. Learn more about Kathryn at: www.atravelersview.org

6 Replies to “When The Dreaded Diagnosis Hits Home”

  1. Coming to Indiana for surgery gives me a good idea of where he will be. In the hands of doctors who care, who pray for their patients in the OR before the first incision…even though they are not affiliated with a hospital founded by a religious order. Cancer today is not the absolute death sentence that it used to be.
    When I asked God…why me Father? I didn’t ask for this! I did everything right–there is no reason that I should have this! In the stillness came an answer–My Son did not ask for his suffering.
    From that point, I finally understood Suffering as a Grace. It was a true moment of conversion, from being a practicing Catholic to being a spiritual practicing Catholic. A huge shift and an unexpected blessing.
    I wish you all peace in this journey!
    Kassie

  2. Praise be to God for the beautiful GIFT, that is faith. Without that gift of faith in Our Good, Holy God, Who IS LOVE, we could lose our minds for the fear, worry, and anger. That gift of the faith in His Love does make that difficult-to-travel road bearable. Keep clinging to that faith. May God continue to strenghen each of you in His Love.
    Praying for healing, and for peace, for both families.

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