As humans it is sometimes difficult not be caught up in what was; our history.  Although history has made us what file0002118597334we are, we sometimes fall into the trap of making the “good old days” more perfect that they actually were.  We remember departed friends and relatives as nobler, more generous, more perfect. Rarely do our natures’ take us to those past disasters, sorrowful moments and things that did not work out.  Those seem to get filtered out along with the times when we were not the best version of ourselves. Yet all of that remains in each of us as a remnant of our past.

However we proceed in life we cannot remove our past.  For all of its goodness or badness it remains an integral part of the fabric that makes us who we are. It would do us each well to make peace with our past and learn to take a more generous look at the gifts that our history has given us. This postmodern society tends to pooh-pooh the past for the sake of “what have you done for me lately”?  That’s unfortunate because it could  well be that we are ignoring the very thing that could be a healing force in our lives.

One stunning example of that is the parable of the Vineyard Owner and the Workers (Mt 20:1-16).  You know, the story where different day laborers began working at different times of the day yet the owner paid them equally.  For me the most stunning quote of that story comes at the very end.  The Owner retorts to the complaining laborers that he can do what he pleases with his own money and then asks them this question: “Are you envious because I am generous?” 

          When you look backward in your own life what do you see?  It’s all too tempting to recall the sting of those times when we feel that God has let us down.  That’s a danger to be vigilant of.  It can lead to self-pity and lack of progress when it comes to your spiritual self.   What about the rest of your history?  For example, the laborers who did not work a full day most likely were ready to accept short pay for the day. That was the consequence.  That’s not what happened.  The Owner of the vineyard was a man of integrity who always had the intention of being generous in an equal way to all of his laborers.   The fact that some came late, some did not experience the hottest part of the day, some were not there for the hardest labor   didn’t matter.

If you recall, the laborers who complained the loudest were those who worked the full day.  Did you ever begrudge it when someone you knew received a bonus that they really didn’t deserve?   Thomas Aquinas reminds us that even attitudes about the past can be sinful. His comment on this parable includes this statement: “He is properly ‘evil’ who sorrows over goodness.”  Even after hearing the complaining the Owner’s attitude did not change.

When you look back at times past what’s your attitude? In the most difficult of past circumstances can you spot the generosity of God? Can you go back and view the big picture and all the things that rippled from it?  We need to be reminded that God is outside of time.  Minutes, hours, years don’t exist for him.   God is always in the now.  What that really means is that if you are suffering or regretting things past that all is not lost.  Looking hard for God’s generosity in the circumstance and acknowledging that he was there can be the beginning healing that spirals forward into the rest of our life.  There has not been one microsecond in your life when God was not present.  Look “backward”.  Spot God’s handiwork and move forward like you never thought was possible.  God is the real owner of the vineyard. St. John Vianney taught: “Trials do not reflect a sign of disfavor with God. Rather, the reverse is indicated.  God is offering and invitation even if it hardly seems so.”  That’s the thing about God’s invitations.  They never have expiration dates!

 

Kathryn is a retired junior high teacher. A convert with a love for the Church she believes that its teachings have a more than viable application for today's world. She writes practical theological for the people in the pews believing that they have as much right to good catechesis as our youth and converts. Her writings appear on Catholic web sites and local Church publications. She has even been published in the diocese of Australia and most recemtly Zenit. Kathryn holds a Master's in Theology and is a certified spiritual director. Learn more about Kathryn at: www.atravelersview.org

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