Now that we’ve gotten our chapter down to the bare bones, it is time to put new flesh on it. Let’s start with the adverbs.
ADVERBS: Adverbs are the sign of weak verbs. Break out your thesaurus and look at the verbs you are using. For example: “He ran quickly.” can be enhanced by changing it to “He jogged.” or “He sprinted.” The search for the most powerful verb is worth it. It gives your reader a better image of the action. Go through the entire chapter and check your verbs!
ADJECTIVES and ACTION: Now let’s go back and look at all the marks you made in the sentences where you feel an adjective is needed. Use a powerful one. Take the time to look up what you what to say. Grab your reader! The point is that if you as a writer use strong and unique adjectives instead of common and easily overlooked adjectives, a reader gets pulled into the scene, action, or character. A word that has the punch you need to make your sentence stand out.
For example, “He was a thin, tall man.” is a sentence that gives the reader an idea of what your character looks like. However, isn’t the sentence: “A skeletal man, he ducked to avoid hitting his head on the door frame.” much better? You are grabbing your reader! You are using the environment and action to create an image of your character. Here is another example: “She seemed disinterested.”changed to “With eyes half-closed, she stared past him to the window.” where we get a visual image into the boredom of the woman. Look for the most powerful adjective and action you can find, and when you are done, read the chapter out loud again. Doesn’t it sound better!
DIALOG: Now look at your dialog. Does it flow naturally as you read it? A trick I have found is that when I find myself changing the words that are written, it usually means that I should actually change them. Speech is messy and interrupted. Listen to people as they talk in real life. Most of the time they are interrupted before they can finish their sentence or thought.
Don’t forget to describe body language. Let’s take the scene of an argument. Give the reader a vision image of the conversation with body language, inner thoughts, and fluctuations in both tone and volume. “She held her anger in.” is much better described as “With her lips compressed, she closed her eyes shutting him out.” Go ahead now! Take that sentence and make it even better! Add some of her inner thoughts. Have her turn away! Now you’ve described her side of the argument well!
DESCRIPTIONS:You may think you are done but you are not! Again read your chapter out loud! What about your descriptions of places and things. Don’t you think you can create a better scene? Are you using all five senses when you describe a scene? We writers tend to use the visual. What about the sense of smell or hearing? What about the sense of touch? If you want to bring your reader right into the scene don’t forget the other senses. For example, “She walked through the colorful garden.” doesn’t give the reader the experience that “Her flip flops crunched the pebbled path. Chilled by the morning dew, she inhaled the sweet scent of lilacs.” does. Okay, can your reader get a better visual now.
This first step of editing is to make your writing and your description uniquely yours. Each writer will add and subtract differently. Maybe your are a romantic and you need to simplify your prose on the second draft. Maybe you are a pragmatist and you need to liven up your deadpan expressions. Know yourself and you will know the improvements necessary. I have a habit of ending sentences with prepositions. I need to check that!
The first draft is just that. It is a wonderful feeling to get the story down. However, now you need to make the story your own, grab your reader, and bring your fans along for the ride of their life. Take the time needed as you rewrite each chapter. Each chapter should be so good that it stands alone. This is what makes you a writer! Join me next week as we will address further steps in self editing.
Karen Boyce
Karen Kelly Boyce lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She is a mother and grandmother. She is the author of “The Sisters of the Last Straw” series published by Tan Books. You can see her work and learn more about her on her website: www,kkboyce.com