The Catholic Writers Guild

As a writer, I love language! I love when I learn a new word. I love when I find a new poem that touches my heart. I even enjoy commercial jingles that stick in my mind and haunt me throughout the day. There is a magic to language. Let’s face it – the difference between animals and man (besides a soul) is the ability to use tools and create language. I have watched shows that display a lower primate’s skill at using tools, but I have yet to have my dog speak to me.

Language is much more than communicating needs. The basic ‘yes’ or ‘no’ may have directed the survival of our species but it is the art of language that brings us closer to God. And make no mistake, language, like any piece of music or canvas hanging on the wall of a museum is an art form. The author is the artist. He needs to use color, and brushstrokes to create a scene that speaks to his audience. The author is a composer who needs to blend different tones and sweeping musical combinations to call his readers. Being an author is not just about telling a story. It is about painting scenes and composing songs that are filtered through the reader’s mind to touch his soul.

Ha! Does that sound intimidating! Well it shouldn’t. One of the very first things you learned – a skill you don’t even remember grasping – was the ability to talk. Speech is second nature to you. So writing should be natural. The problem often comes when we try too hard, forgetting the natural flow of language. That is what has happened when you read long and difficult dialog that makes your eyes cross. The author is trying to fill his character’s words with oodles of information that just doesn’t flow. In this example of a man talking to his wife we see a really unnatural dialog:

Man: “My darling, you and I married thirty years ago and then had two children. Having a boy and a girl made me so happy. Now that they are grown and we live alone in your dead mother’s house, we have time to cuddle and talk and just enjoy being together.”

It’s not natural, here’s a more natural line:

Man: “Humph! It’s quiet here!”

However, the real magic of prose is not in the dialog, it is in the verses that lie between the speech. Yes, I call them verses because they, like poetry, require a beat. They require a flow that delights the reader as much as their favorite song. The mystery of a pleasing rhythm depends on the length of your sentences, the variation of your words, and the changes that the action of the characters bring to the language.

We all remember the books we loved as children. Remember the books that we used when we were learning to read. They had short, choppy sentences like: “Run John.” “Run Sally.” & “See John and Sally run.” Silly! but is there a place for short choppy sentences in your work? You bet there is! When the action picks up and your hero is in danger. The beat of short sentences denotes that to your reader. Repetition in short choppy lines reflects the importance of the action. A good example is found in Tolkien’s  The Fellowship of the Ring. When Frodo senses danger we read: “And suddenly he felt the Eye. There was the eye in the Dark Tower that did not sleep. He knew that it had become aware of his gaze. A fierce eager will was there. It leaped toward him….”  See how the use of short tense sentences not only tells the story but uses a quick snappy beat to produce the sense of danger. Notice the repetition as each sentence builds on the last.

The use of long, flowing sentences have their place in literature. It can create a mood of reflection and inertia that reflect exactly what the author wants you as a reader to feel. In O’Brien’s novel,  Eclipse of the Sun, his description of a walk leads the mood: “A walk is a kind of art form, a certain school of contemplation. But a father who set out on such a walk for the first time in ages could not immediately remember this.  His motors were still racing, though he had slowed his body with an enormous effort of the will in order to match her pace…..” See how O’Brien lengthens the sentences as the character slows his pace. It reflects the action.

Like an artist creating a symphony, you need to use sentence length and wordage to reflect your tale. All short sentences chop your work. All lengthy sentences bog it down. Your paragraphs should contain both. If all your sentences are long – cut them up. If all your sentences are short – connect them. Find a rhythm! When you deviate from the normal rhythm your reader will feel it. He will feel the action quicken in your short sentences although he may not notice why. He may calm and reflect when your sentences wind and meander, although it is all unconscious. The best way to learn rhythm is to read poetry, listen to music, or notice the paint strokes in oil paintings. Your work should have a beat! After all, you are an artist.

Karen Boyce

Karen Kelly Boyce lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She is a mother and grandmother. She is the author of “The Sisters of the Last Straw” series published by Tan Books. You can see her work and learn more about her on her website: www,kkboyce.com