Although many were there the night Jesus was betrayed there were two major players; Peter and Judas.   Both men had identical experiences with the Savior the last three years but the final outcome for each was as different as night from day. Both lived all the high and lows of the “ministry”, both had been with “him” non-stop, both tasted the possibility of something radically new in their life as well as the entire world because of this man who was unlike any other they had ever known.  Both were betrayers.

Isn’t odd, then, that people have speculated endlessly about why Judas did that and not one iota about Peter’s motives.  The fisherman’s betrayal might even have been a notch worse because he so firmly and publically repeated it three times.  Judas, on the other hand, flew into a panic of desperate remorse immediately after his one and only insult.  Like kids that cut short their English assignments when the book is over a couple hundred pages, we like to skip to the end.

We hear hours of discussion about Judas and Peter and how they were different.  Take a closer look, they weren’t that different.  They were both you and me and so human that each was able to instantly turn so inward that they were able to commit “the” unthinkable sin without batting an eyelash.  Pre-garden Peter even declared; “Not I Lord!”.  At least Judas wasn’t that hypocritical.

So what’s the point of this comparison?  I think that as we arrive in a place where our faith is “established”, we have been practicing for a while now, that we reach a place of comfort a place where it feels good to think or say:  “Look how flawed those guys were, at least that’s not me…..and that Judas,  I could NEVER be that: greedy, thoughtless, egoistic, political; pick one.  And that Peter what a yutz! I would never screw up that many times.”

           In our secret way we take pride in our self-declared exclusion. There’s an odd comfort in thinking that we are not “as bad” or “as incompetent” as either of the ultimate deniers of Christ.  That kind of thinking is what professionals call “inward focus”.  It’s not a good thing.

  “Our daily problems and worries can wrap us up in ourselves, in sadness and bitterness…and that is where death is. That is not the place to look for the One who is alive! (Pope Frances Easter Vigil Homily March 20, 2013)”

Catholicism is a religion that is all about taking our energy, resources, time and focus “outward”.  That’s how you heal the sick, create peace, declare justice, banish your demons, heal the world:  Mother Theresa, Maximillian Kolby, John Paul II, Elizabeth Seaton, Theresa of Avila, Jesus.  The real point of both Peter and Judas is not how different we are from them but how similar we are to them. That paradox is: in both of those men is all of human desperation and fear.  They are the total example of humanity, all of us no matter who you relate to.  As we look at ourselves in light of Judas and Peter we need to identify that, own it and take it to Jesus for removal.  It’ not good enough to self-decide that you are not “as bad” as Judas or that you are “as sympathetic” as Peter.

God expects us to take action of some sort, not rest in the comfort of our self-judgment. The good news is that if we firmly cling to the reality of the generosity of God we can end up like Peter. The sad news is, if we play God declaring ourselves so sinful that we don’t ask forgiveness we can end up like Judas.  Doesn’t it chill you to think of God telling you to you get away from him or that it would be better if you had never been born?

Kathryn is a retired junior high teacher. A convert with a love for the Church she believes that its teachings have a more than viable application for today's world. She writes practical theological for the people in the pews believing that they have as much right to good catechesis as our youth and converts. Her writings appear on Catholic web sites and local Church publications. She has even been published in the diocese of Australia and most recemtly Zenit. Kathryn holds a Master's in Theology and is a certified spiritual director. Learn more about Kathryn at: www.atravelersview.org

By Catholic Writing and Publishing1 Comment on Paradox

One Reply to “Paradox”

  1. Nice reflection and very true. How often do we turn our backs on Him? Probably much more frequently than we are willing to admit.
    One key difference, I think, between Judas’ and Peter’s betrayals is that in Judas’ case it was premeditated and planned, whereas with Peter it was born of the fear of the moment. It’s easier to go seeking forgiveness when we sin in a moment of weakness than when we commit ourselves to a particular sinful path. An engaged couple committed to chastity who gives in to passion one night is more likely to end up in the confessional than a married couple using birth control in spite of church teachings.
    When we start saying, “I know this is wrong, but I am going to do it anyway because…”, we’re heading down Judas’ path. It’s a short road to despair.

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