I was sick this weekend, but not that sick, which meant I was forced to lounge in the hammock and read books. (I know!) And there’s nothing like reading a book to make me stumble across editing complaints.
–> Remember here, I am a fellow beginning writer. I’m not looking for finer points. When someone gives me a manuscript (in this case, an early published work by a later-famous author), the number one thing I look for is: Can I understand what the writer is trying to say?
This weekend’s reading was a reminder that even really good writers sometimes make life hard for the reader.
Complaint #1: The Character Who Materializes Without Warning. Our hero, Joe (not his real name) goes to speak to his boss, Ed. Joe pops into Ed’s office. They have a conversation. And suddenly, two pages into the scene, Ed’s daughter speaks up! She was sitting by the fire all along! Only, we had no idea she was there. (Or the fire, either, but I can overlook that.) And then, after we are introduced to the daughter, including a description suggesting we could never have missed her, Ed’s other daughter joins the conversation!
Writing tip: If characters are suddenly appearing out of thin air, your hero ought to at least be surprised about it.
I’m not going to knock this author. The problem only happened once, suggesting the writer knew better, but just missed this lapse in the editing process. Easy to do: Most of the time the person editing already knows who is in the room. It’s hard to review your own work with an empty brain, and see the scene as the reader will see it.
Complaint #2: The Character with 10,000 Names. It is normal for people to have multiple names. On any given day I get called Mrs. Fitz, Ms. Fitz, Jennifer, Jen, and Mom. If my grandmother phones, she’ll call me Jenny. My best friend from college will probably refer to me by my maiden name. With any luck one day I’ll be called “Grandma”, too, though exactly how that will turn out who knows, because the grandmothers I know get called “Nanny”, “Mee-Maw”, “Ga”, “Nana”, “Mimi”, and so on. It would be weird if your character were only ever called by one name exactly.
The problem arises when the reader loses track of who’s who. You introduced me to Dr. Jones at the university, and next thing I know we’re at a bridal shower and everyone’s calling her Peggy. But I can’t see (or hear) that this lady named Peggy is exactly the same person as the professor, the way I would in regular life. I don’t need anyone at the shower to call her Dr. Jones — that wouldn’t be realistic in many cases. But I do need the story to somehow help me make the connection.
Again, this is a tough one to edit for, because of course the author knows exactly who Peggy Jones is, and what she was called on the basketball team, and why no one ever, ever, calls her Meg. And it is quite possible that there was a scene with a sentence that artfully made the connection, and that scene got cut in the 3rd draft, and no one noticed the loss. When I’m editing, if I cut a line that provided an essential cue to the reader, I need to insert that cue someplace else in the manuscript.
***
So those are my two editing checklist items for this week. Both of which slipped by the editor’s desk and made it into print. Neither were showstoppers, certainly not career-breakers. I will say that it is a rare (published) book that I read and don’t notice any problem sentences the whole way through. A classic becomes a classic for reasons other than impeccable editing, and much can be forgiven if the story is compelling.
But still, it’s a good habit as a writer to only mystify your readers intentionally.
Jennifer Fitz
Jennifer Fitz is the author of The How-to Book of Evangelization: Everything You Need to Know But No One Ever Taught You from Our Sunday Visitor and Classroom Management for Catechists from Liguori Publications. She writes about all things evangelization and discipleship at jenniferfitz.substack.com. For updates on where else to find her, visit JenniferFitz.com.