The Catholic Writers Guild

I am currently sixty-two years old. I began studying judo at the age of twelve. I have for the past fifty years practiced, studied, and taught martial arts. Officially I am nidan, second degree black belt, as for many years I had no regular instructor to mentor my promotions. I was offered sandan, third degree in both judo and jujitsu, in the early 1990s at a summer camp, but at the time the rank fees were more than I could afford.

I bring up this history to bolster my cred in speaking about a warrior’s mindset.

Within the martial arts, the idea of situational awareness is taught. This means being alert to what is happening or can happen around you. In other words, you are prepared for an attack or a dangerous situation (like a car racing toward you).

In addition to my martial arts training, I also have work experience in mental wards with behavior patients where acts of violence were part of the daily routine. You expected the unexpected to happen and were ready to react instantly.

As a father, you need to understand that attacks against your family can come from any source, even those places you expect to be safe and where the staffers claim they want only what is best for your family. One such place turned out to be the obstetrician’s office.

About twenty-two years ago, my wife was pregnant with our seventh child. We were familiar with the way her doctor cared for his patients and quite comfortable with his skill and bedside manner. That made what we experienced all the more surprising to us.

They scheduled an ultrasound, which showed everything was normal. The nurse then asked about scheduling an amniocentesis, which we declined. Later, when we met with the doctor, he asked about the amnio, and we again declined. We finished the appointment and went home.

Over the course of the next two weeks, we received numerous calls from the nurse at the office asking about scheduling the amniocentesis. She was quite adamant that it was necessary to check on the health of the child. We repeatedly said no. Amniocentesis is not without its risks to both the child and the mother. The nurse began to speak about how an ultrasound does not always show all the possible problems with the child and the risk of having a child with deformities. If the deformities are detected early enough, we could do something about it. She meant an abortion, although she did not use the word.

During the fifth phone call, the nurse was browbeating my pregnant wife, who is not the argumentative type. I was standing next to her when I told her to give me the phone. I read the nurse the riot act. I told her we would not consent to the test. The test for us was meaningless, as even if the child had three arms and five legs, we would accept and love them. I told her I understood the risks of both the pregnancy and the test. I told her to go away!

On our next visit, I talked to the doctor, who said he had not instructed the nurse to call us about the test. We had said no to it and he was fine with that.

It was clear to me that this nurse had an agenda. Fortunately, we were able to stop her. My wife had some problems as the pregnancy advanced, but Joe was born healthy, if not a bit early. Unfortunately, at age one, he suffered a febrile seizure that did cause brain injury.

Joe is now twenty-two years old. First, he is alive. Second, he talks, walks, helps with the family newspaper route, is an altar server at church, and is slated to receive his green belt in hapkido, a martial art, this spring.

The nurse was wrong about Joe. After his seizure, some doctors proclaimed Joe a vegetable — their words — and suggested institutionalization. That is a story for later. For now, the important point is that no one can predict the future, and all fathers must be prepared to fight to make sure their children have one.

Dennis McGeehan

Dennis P. McGeehan is a husband, homeschooling Dad of eight, a Martial Artist, Freelance Writer, Author and Speaker. He is a member of the Catholic Writers Guild. His latest book is titled The Diaries of Joseph and Mary.