Learning the Craft: Adverbs!

Can we make our writing tighter?

Last week we dealt with adjectives. Taking a few pages or a chapter, we removed all the adjectives and adverbs and made a two-column list. The first column contained the adjectives, and the second column had the adverbs we removed from the text. Afterwards, we picked unique adjectives and added those back only where an adjective was called for. Now how do we deal with the adverbs?

Just what is an adverb?

The official Webster dictionary definition is: noun \ˈad-ˌvərb\ Adverb : a word that describes a verb, an adjective, another adverb, or a sentence and that is often used to show time, manner, place, or degree

My personal definition is: Adverb – A word a writer uses when his verb isn’t powerful enough to describe the action. Or a word used very infrequently by a good writer.

Another author (Stephen King) was more descriptive. He said, “The road to hell is paved with adverbs.”

Mark Twain’s definition is: “Adverbs are the tools of the lazy writer.”

Can I recognize and eliminate the adverbs in my own work?

Examples of Adverbs (Given by Webster)

In “arrived early,” “runs slowly,” “stayed home,” and “works hard” the words “early,” “slowly,” “home,” and “hard” are adverbs.

Let’s take the examples given by Webster

1) “He arrived early” – How can that be said with more gusto? Simple enough: “Rude, he intruded before the other guests.” Or how about “Nervous, he popped in before expected.” The new verbs and sentences are strong – giving us a sense of the early guest.

2) “He runs slowly.” What can we do here? “He jogged, dragging his injured leg.” Or “His pace fizzled as he gasped for air.” Now we get a real sense of what is happening.

3) “He stayed home.” How about: “With painful memories, he sequestered himself.” or “Frightened, he became a hermit.” Or “Exhausted, he closed the blinds and shuttered the outside world.”

4) “He worked hard.” What description works for you? “Muscles aching, his shirt dripped with perspiration.” Or maybe he works in an office. “Closing his eyes, he rubbed his forehead.”

I wish I could say that I never used adverbs. However, that’s not true! I can be as lazy or tired as any other writer. If you checked my work, I am sure you would find plenty of adverbs. However, it would be better if I used fewer, and that is all I am trying to say to you about your own work.

What can I do with the list of adverbs in my own work?

Let’s see what we can do with the adverbs you used in the example you printed. What verbs can replace and remove those adverbs? Strong verbs draw the reader right into the scene. There are many words that give the reader a real sense of the action or the character.

For example, here is a simple sentence. “I didn’t lie!” Mary said insistently.” Let’s get rid of the adverb insistently and use a stronger verb. “I didn’t lie!” Mary choked and glanced away. Or how about the sentence, “It’s a very cold day.” Let’s lose the adverb very and try this. “It’s a frigid day.”

Is checking for adverbs is a great way to tighten and improve your prose?

Yes! Train your eyes to catch adverbs when you are editing or proofreading. When you see an adverb, try to write the sentence without it. Avoid vague adverbs when you have to use them. Always look for a unique or strong verb. Look for redundancy. Your character does not sob deeply. Just the fact that she is sobbing tells us the story. Try to never use the words really or very.

This is a great way to improve your vocabulary. Once you have gone over your work and replaced all the adverbs you could with strong verbs, you may find that a few sentences still require an adverb. Try to find an uncommon one. Or perhaps you should wait until next week. Next post, let’s look into the use of metaphors and similes!

Karen Boyce

Karen Kelly Boyce lives on a farm in N.J. with her retired husband. She is a mother and grandmother. She is the author of “The Sisters of the Last Straw” series published by Tan Books. You can see her work and learn more about her on her website: www,kkboyce.com