Flaws vs. Love

Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)

I recently celebrated a milestone birthday. In a way, the bigger those birthday numbers get, the more important celebrating seems. My husband was so kind and arranged lunch at a restaurant with family and friends, who showered me with gifts. One gift was especially lovely, at least at first glance.

I met the friend who gave it to me fifteen years ago, but it’s only been during the past five years that we’ve become close. She’s becoming more and more like a sister to me all the time. We’ve always delighted each other with gifts. As I opened the box after our lunch, I anticipated another wonderful surprise. I wasn’t disappointed. The ceramic figurine of three angels was very pretty. They stood with arms outstretched to each other, seemingly on a cloud, and surrounding a small well that was designed to hold a battery-operated votive candle (which my friend had included). It was perfect for me. My friend knows that I’m enamored by things that light up. I thanked her then with a big hug and wrote her a thank-you note a couple of days later.

Around that same time, I carefully removed the piece from the box. Wondering where to display it, I took a much closer look. That’s when my stomach kind of lurched. It had flaws. On two of the angels’ ivory dresses, there were brownish stains, like small splotches of paint. I tried scrubbing them with a no-scratch sponge. No change. I tried a bit of “Goo-Gone.” No change. Apparently, they hadn’t been stained by anything sticky.

I then tried covering up the stains with an ivory crayon. No change. I racked my brain. If they were indeed paint, could they be hidden or muted by a bit of nail polish? On my next trip to the grocery store, I picked out a shade called “bisque.” I brushed a thin layer on the stains and gave it plenty of time to dry. No change. In fact, it almost made it look worse. Finally, I admitted defeat. With a sigh, I set the figurine on the dining table and left it be.

A few nights later, as I entered my evening prayer time, my mind wandered to the angels figurine. I mused about how my friend had wanted to please me and did. How she probably hadn’t noticed those flaws herself, and it was too bad that I had. How it was still a pretty item for many reasons. How it might even be an antique, because my friend loves antiques. Then, my heart seemed to speak: “You can see the flaws in this gift, or you can see the love and the beauty of the giver.”

There are my choices for so many things. I can dwell on what’s slightly unsightly, perhaps a mistake or a weakness—in a gift, another person or even myself—or I can be grateful to the person, and grateful for the person who gave it to me because he or she loves me… I can be grateful to God, who gave me this person, precisely because he loves me. He put his love and beauty inside each person—including me.

When God looks at me, at everyone, does he see flaws? Or does he see his beloved child, his precious children? He isn’t blind, but he is Love. He asks me to love others as he does. He even asks me to love myself (see Mark 12:31). If God loves me despite my faults, if he loves everyone despite their faults, then who am I not to love? Who am I to dwell on flaws? Of course, I need to work on overcoming my faults. We all do. But that needn’t blind me to all that is good in anything or anyone. I can choose to see, acknowledge, and honor what is good and beautiful in each thing and, most importantly, in each person.

My angel figurine is on my desk near my laptop, where I can enjoy its beauty, where it reminds me every day of my beautiful, loving friend and the love and beauty of God in her and in all of us.

Oh, and when that figurine is turned a certain way, and you stand in the right spot, you can’t see the flaws!

Geri Guadagno, 2023

Geri Guadagno

Geraldine (Geri) Guadagno, a “cradle Catholic,” loved stories from the moment her mom began reading to her, and for decades dreamed of writing stories herself. Eventually, she pursued her dream through Institute of Children’s Literature courses, and workshops and retreats with the Highlights Foundation, Catholic Writers Guild, and other organizations. A wife, mom, and soon-to-be mother-in-law, Geri writes to inspire children and adults. She attributes her success to divine intervention. Learn more at geriguadagno.com.