When I see the screen on my cell phone flashing the name, “Jumbo”, I cringe. Now, please don’t get me wrong, Jumbo Feeney and I have been best friends since Hector was a pup. I love the guy but—sometimes he just drives me nuts. Why? Because he has a unique opinion on every topic known to humankind. I mean this 6’4″, 250 pound, ruddy faced bruiser with hands the size of ham hocks knows it all. Anyway, when I see his name staring at me from that little screen I usually do not answer because I need some time to pray and mentally prepare for the event. It usually takes about ten or fifteen minutes and then I return the call. If I just answer he is already in mid-sentence and I will not have a clue as to what he is talking about and he’ll want my opinion even though he never hears it anyway. Then he’ll bust out in his raucous, deep belly laugh and–well, trust me, it is an experience.
So Saturday morning I see Jumbo’s name flashing on the cell phone screen. What do I do? I ignore my own rule and answer the phone. As I flip open the phone I call myself an idiot and then begin to listen because Jumbo is in mid-sentence. “Petie, (he calls me Petie) you’re sitting down, right? I mean this is BIG—really BIG.”
He starts laughing and I don’t sit down. “C’mon Jumbo, what? What is it?”
“Guess where I’m going tomorrow? C’mon man, guess.”
“NO idea Jumbo. I do know where you’re not going.”
“There you go Petie, you think you’re so smart. Well, guess what? WRONG! I am going. I am going to Mass tomorrow. Think you’re so smart. Well, gotcha.”
“Gotcha” was a good word. Jumbo had not been to church in, who knows, a VERY longtime. Throughout all of those years, he has been trying to convince me that whether a person went to church or not made no difference in their spiritual life. I had always held my ground and refused to discuss the topic with him. His talking to me was his way of trying to convince himself he was right, so—I just would listen. It was not easy, trust me. I was guessing that he had finally convinced himself that he was wrong.
“Petie, you there? Say something. Anything. Hope the news did not make you drop dead or something.” More raucous laughter.
“Uh, no Jumbo. Just have a few chest pains and I’m hyperventilating a bit. Otherwise. I’m fine. So tell me, what happened. It’s been a long time for you.”
“Yeah Petie, that’s for sure. A long time. I just think it’s time for me, that’s all.”
“Jumbo, God writes straight with crooked lines, doesn’t he? We all follow our own path. I’m not saying anything. I’ll call you Monday and see how it went, okay?”
“Petie, you didn’t ask me if I went to confession.”
“Not going there Jumbo. None of my business.”
“Good job, Petie, good job. That was just a little test for you anyway.”
“Hey Jumbo.”
“What?”
“Love ya man.”
LarryPeterson
Larry is a Catholic/Christian author and blogger and posts weekly commentary. His work has appeared in such publications as Zenit from Rome, Aleteia, New Evangelists, Top Catholic Blogs, Big Pulpit, Catholic365.com and others. His first children's picture book, "Slippery Willie's Stupid, Ugly Shoes" was published in 2011. In 2012, his full-length novel, "The Priest and the Peaches" was released. His second novel, "The Demons of Abadon", was released in the spring of 2016. Larry’s latest novel, “Horizon Homeless” was released in ebook format in May of 2017 and the paperback followed on July 27, 2017. Larry belongs to the Catholic Writer’s Guild, The Catholic Writer’s Society, The Knights of Columbus, and the St. Vincent de Paul Society. He has been an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion for over twenty years bringing communion to the homebound and hospitalized. He lives in Pinellas Park, Florida and his kids and six grandchildren all live within three miles of each other. His first wife died of cancer in 2003. He remarried four years later and became the primary caregiver for his wife, Martha who came down with Non-Hodgins Lymphoma in 2011. The cancer was in remission when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease in October of 2014. Sadly and unexpectedly, Martha passed away on March 27, 2017. The writer says, "God has me where he needs me and I try my best to make Him proud. Larry’s blog site is http://www.slipperywillie.blogspot.com You can find more at www.larrypeterson-author.com